Public Affairs Office Personnel Files:
Sam Archer   |   Tessa Kensington   |   Cassie Queen   |   Sakkaan

Wednesday, June 1

Tsiolkovsky Polywater Infection

Whatever happened to the crew of the SS Tsiolkovsky appears to be affecting the crew of the Enterprise now as well. Reports of infected personnel are coming in from all over the ship. Medical tests on the infected personnel, however, show nothing out of the ordinary -- no biological or viral contaminants of any kind. It is almost as if the affected crew are suffering from severe cases of spontaneous intoxication.

So far, there has been a sharp spike in public displays of affection all over the ship, a few reports of nudity and streaking on multiple decks, increased depression among usually cheerful individuals, a handful of spontaneous fistfights (some even being fought over the honor of a female crewmember), a complete lack of fear among some individuals trying to attempt dangerous daredevil stunts, three attempted raids on security weapons lockers, Vulcan crew exhibiting strong emotions, and a variety of other disturbing and uncharacteristic incidents.

Even two of our PR staff have become infected -- Ensigns Aszalla and Cassie Queen. I fear I may have been as well.

Lieutenant Commander Data, an artificial android (and therefore not susceptible) has discovered a connection to a similar affliction aboard the old Constitution-class USS Enterprise. Unfortunately, Doctor Crusher has found that the known cure for that historic affliction does not apply to us. Whatever we are facing has mutated into something much, much worse.

-Lieutenant Sam Archer

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